I don’t know where else to let this out. I’m so used to handling things alone, I’ve been selfish. Too selfish. So this is what I get. A deeper cut. Salt on the wound. Serves me right.
I’ve given all I could give. I get nothing in return. Oh wait, I get lies in return. To just let go is hard, after all, it’s family. And to share is embarrassing, to know that this is where I come from, this is who I grew up with. I don’t know how to deal with this.
I’m ashamed. I’ve lost all my pride. I’ve lost all my glory. And now, I’ve lost almost everyone I can trust, and love. You can say that I’ve lost it all. People used to come to me, I used to be that uplifting person who listens, and give others hope when there’s none left. And now when I’m down-
Sometimes I wonder. If I die, who will actually come and send me off? It’s always like this. I give so much. I get so little. Or nothing at all. Maybe this is why I’ve turned into such a monster. Maybe karma’s fucking me up in the ass. I don’t know. If there was a pill to make me numb, I’d take it.
